Arabbi, a Buddhist monk and a Rastafarian walk into a bar. What's the first thing the women inside notice?

Each dude's hair.

Sorry for the lacking punchline, but the sad state of men's hairstyles today is no laughing matter (except the so-bad-it's-good mullet).

Axe, a company focused on men's grooming products, recently surveyed 2,000 American women on men's hair care. About three-quarters of the women said hair is one of the first things they notice about a guy. Almost half felt guy's hairstyles all look the same, and that guys their age need help styling their hair. Worse, 62 per cent said they are not likely to take a guy with bad hair home at the end of the night. Yet only 29 per cent of guys in the same survey considered their hair to be an important factor in attracting women.

Now, I don't want to overstate the importance of this disconnect, but suffice to say the global recession should immediately take a back seat to this crisis. Until that happens, though, a guy who puts a bit of effort into his hair can take advantage of the monotonous world of men's mops. It's never been easier to grab the ladies' attention. And your boss's: well-tended locks are an obvious sign that you take care of yourself.

Hold up, I know what you're thinking: every time I step out of the box with my hairstyle, I end up looking goofy. But there are ways to get and keep a style that fits your type of hair, says Toronto-based image consultant Shannon Stewart, who has styled Bono, Billy Talent and Sting. Read on for tips from Stewart and Annette Burwash, owner of Getaway Spa For Men in Bridgeland, on how to get a good haircut and properly style your hair.

Great Hair Starts With A Great Haircut

It can be tough to find a good hairstylist, especially if you're not willing to spend what you would on Calgary Flames tickets. But shell out as much as you can afford for a good cut.

"A really good haircut will make styling your hair much easier," Stewart says.

Keep your hair short if you have thinning hair with a receding hairline. The longer hair grows, the thinner it looks. And if you're bald or almost there, forget the comb-over. Keep the sides and back trim, or even shaved, like Michael Jordan.

Men with thick and coarse hair usually look better and have an easier time styling a shorter cut. Personalize short hair by making it messy or spiky, or coiffing it in the direction you like. But it's easiest to keep most of it facing the way it tends to grow.

Get your hair cut every three weeks to keep it trimmed and easy to style. Even if you want to grow it out, keep your haircuts regular so your locks don't get mussy.

Which Hair Products To Buy And How To Apply Them

Before you style your 'do, clean it with a pH-balanced shampoo and conditioner. An acidic shampoo dries out your scalp, causing flakes and an itchy head.

If you have really fine, straight hair, wash it most days. If you have thick hair and don't use much product, Stewart recommends skipping a day or two between washings to let your natural oils come back.

Don't be lazy in your search and resort to using your partner's fruity conditioner. A guy's scalp is usually oilier and sweatier than a woman's, and women aren't turned on by a guy who smells like lilacs.

There's a whole whack of new men's hair products out there, with strange names like pomade, mess constructor, and "Funkifier" gel -- so let's demystify the hair-care aisle. The bad hair products start with gel. There's a reason they call it a gelmet. And since gel is mostly water, when it dries you're left with a crusty residue. Likewise, avoid hairspray, because it tends to dry out your scalp.

Stewart recommends using a quality hair wax, pomade, putty or cream. Burwash disagrees, saying only waxes and creams are good choices for your hair, because the other products are too greasy. Waxes and creams are easy on your hair and scalp. They don't get flaky or clump hair like gel or hairspray. Both give you a wet look. Wax is the hardest product, but keeps your hair pliable so you can re-style for drinks after work. Cream is much softer, but doesn't have as much hold. Beeswax in the ingredients is the sign of a good wax, Burwash says.

Pomade gives a bit of sheen for a more polished, preppy look at the office, while putty offers good hold and provides a matte look. A good paste gives that just-out-of-bed look, Stewart says, which is hit-or-miss in my experience.

The thinner and finer your hair, the less hold your product needs. When applying it, remember: pinches, not handfuls. And relax. Excessive primping is not required. If you're styling your hair right, a few minutes should be enough to wow the women.

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