Ask any adult and they’ll tell you that men and women are different in many ways (beyond the obvious physical differences!). Emotionally, men and women often have different needs. Our challenges in understanding the needs of the opposite sex have made books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” bestsellers. Let’s take a look, then, at a few things tips on how to successfully romance a woman --- from a woman’s perspective.
*Compliments*
Compliments are a little like frosting – too slick, and they slide right off. Too thick, and they’re sickening. But a cake without frosting is a little sad; and a woman without compliments may feel the same way. A good compliment can make a woman feel truly appreciated and loved. What then differentiates a “good” compliment from a bad one? Here are a few factors:
• Sincerity – women like to know that they can trust a man. We like to hear compliments that are clear and specific, that come from the heart. Most women would rather receive one sincere compliment rather than ten insincere ones. A single insincere compliment can also serve to discredit you, and devalue your future compliments.
• Specificity – A vague compliment is like that frosting above, but you forgot to add enough sugar. It’s okay, but it is just kind of “neutral”. Add a specific detail or two, though, and the compliment takes on new value. Compare the impact of “That’s a pretty dress” with the more specific “I love your dress. It really brings out the blue in your eyes, and really shows off your sexy body.” Which one do you think is apt to make your partner feel more appreciated?
• Frequently – while some men toss out compliments like they’re business cards at a Rotary convention, others are so frugal with compliments that the woman ends up feeling unappreciated. If you fall into the first category, check out the two recommendations above. If you’re in the latter category, you might want to try praising your partner a little more often. Compliments that come freely and more frequently make us feel appreciated and loved.
• Unexpectedly – If you find your partner “fishing” for compliments, it may be that you could improve on your complimenting skills. One tip is to offer compliments and praise when she isn’t expecting them – as a sign of your love and appreciation for her and all she does for you. Some women say that the only time they get compliments is when they ask for them, or when their husbands want sex. So they are suspicious of all unsolicited compliments. How sad is that? Let your partner know how much you love and appreciate her, and she’ll appreciate your attentiveness.
• Intelligently – one of the greatest compliments you can give a woman is to appreciate her mind/soul/intellect. It’s far easier to hand out compliments about physical attributes – her appearance, her outfit, her haircut, etc. than it is to compliment her intelligence. Next time you have the chance to tell your partner how much you appreciate her for something non-cosmetic, do so. Tell her how impressed you are with her handling of a difficult situation, or her patience in a stressful area, or her creativity in resolving an issue. Tell her how you appreciate the decisions she made on specific issues. Let her share her day and her accomplishments with you, and listen to the many choices, decisions and frustrations she faced. Appreciating her intellect, her giving nature, her negotiation skills, etc. can help her recognize that not only are you really listening to her, but that you appreciate her as a person, as well.
*Gifts and Thoughtful Gestures*
A heartfelt gift can be an incredibly romantic thing. For those of you on a budget, romance does not have to mean big budgets. One man I know left cards for his wife every day for a week when she was struggling with an issue at work, telling her how much he loved her and appreciated her. She shared that this was a real source of strength for her as she dealt with the problems during the day, giving her self-esteem a much-needed boost.
Sometimes the presentation of the gift can be as important as the gift itself, too. Flowers grabbed in the grocery store and flung at your partner with a “These were on sale” comment may show you care, but a lot of the potential impact is lost in the process. Even an inexpensive grocery store bouquet can be a romantic gesture if presented correctly. Accompanied by a kiss, present the flowers to your partner with a smile, and a gracious compliment. Something like, “I saw these and couldn’t resist getting them for you to brighten up the kitchen. Can I stick them in some water for you?” will do just fine, if you aren’t the naturally romantic type.
One caveat – most women don’t appreciate having gifts associated with sex. Even if the sex was stunning, try to make sure your gifts are presented as tokens of your appreciation for her giving nature, or your growing love for her, or a wonderful weekend together. Tied in with a sincere compliment about something non-sexual, if possible. Gifts tied to sex can make a woman feel cheap and used; while a gift for the same weekend presented “because you’re always so fun to be with” carries a far more positive connotation.
One of the most thoughtful gifts you can give a woman is your time and your attention. Listen to her, what she likes and dislikes. Ask her to tell you about her day, and then listen. Don’t interrupt or tune her out, and don’t try to “fix” her problems for her (unless she asks you to intervene). Just listening to her and offering sympathy and caring, laughter and sharing, will tell her that she’s important to you. Take an afternoon off and go have a picnic in the park together. Get a babysitter and go out for a romantic dinner, or ask her for a list of five things she wants to do and try to hit two or three of them. The most important thing is not how much money you spend, it’s the time you spend with her and the fact that you are making her your priority for that time.
Most women would love to have more time, attention and interest from their husbands and boyfriends. Although there are obviously exceptions, the fact is that the “romance” fades from most relationships as time and outside demands wear on the couple. I hope that these tips have given you some ideas on how you can put a little of the romance back into your relationship!
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Thursday, October 2, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The Great Key to Making a Good First Impression
Many people think that whenever they meet someone new, they have to put on a false front, or pretend to be someone they’re not. Actually, being your real self will work better if you really want to connect with other people.
One of the most common reasons that people have difficulty making conversation with someone they don’t know very well is because they put too much pressure on themselves to put on a great performance.
Because of this sense of pressure, they try too hard to be impressive, to talk a lot, and to brag about their accomplishments. They won’t spend any time listening to and getting to know the person they are with.
Instead of impressing the other person however, this kind of self centered behavior is likely to irritate and annoy them.
Here’s a very important lesson to learn about making conversation with new people: Insisting to yourself that you have to be brilliant and dazzling in all your conversations will not win you new friends. It will not even improve your conversational performance.
When you think to yourself that you have to perform perfectly in all your conversations, and put up a false front, you will actually make your performance worse! You will become too nervous and awkward, and you’ll be too focused on your own performance. You won’t be focused on getting to know the new person you’ve just met.
New people that you meet are not looking for brilliant conversation. What they are looking for is someone who will be comfortable to be with, and fun to talk to. But most of all they are looking for someone who seems interested in them!
If you really want to impress the person you are meeting, it’s more important to be a good listener than to be a great talker.
If you want to know that person better, you can start by exchanging a few low key pleasantries, but you should move on quickly to a slightly more personal level of discussion. Ask a few basic questions and offer a little bit of information about yourself, your likes or dislikes, or your opinion on some neutral topic. Notice whether the other person lights up with interest about any topics you mention.
This can give you new interesting areas for both of you to discuss. Try to find out who they are, and what is interesting to them.
Even if it seems somewhat difficult and awkward for you in the beginning, develop the habit of introducing yourself to others as soon as you meet them, or very early in the conversation. Otherwise you could spend hours talking and neither of you will have any idea of what your conversation partner’s name is.
Socially confident people introduce themselves to their conversation partners very early in the course of conversation. People who are shy or socially awkward tend to introduce themselves much later, or not at all. Shy people often wait until someone asks for their name, but they rarely volunteer to give it, and they rarely ask the other person for their name.
Sometimes it is easier to ask the other person for their name first, and then offer your own. If you practice the new behavior enough times, it will eventually become second nature to you. With enough practice, it will no longer seem intimidating to take a more active role.
The important thing is simply to develop the habit of starting simple little conversations with lots more people. Look for the interests you have in common.
So remember: Show interest in other people. Smile. Listen. Look at the person you’re talking with.
Whenever you start talking to new people, don’t strive for great dialogue, or the perfect opening lines. Just get started, and keep on talking. Focus more on finding out what is interesting about the other person than on talking about what is interesting about you.
Let other people get to know the real you, instead of a fake you. Source http://www.relationshipsarticlelibrary.com
Read More..
One of the most common reasons that people have difficulty making conversation with someone they don’t know very well is because they put too much pressure on themselves to put on a great performance.
Because of this sense of pressure, they try too hard to be impressive, to talk a lot, and to brag about their accomplishments. They won’t spend any time listening to and getting to know the person they are with.
Instead of impressing the other person however, this kind of self centered behavior is likely to irritate and annoy them.
Here’s a very important lesson to learn about making conversation with new people: Insisting to yourself that you have to be brilliant and dazzling in all your conversations will not win you new friends. It will not even improve your conversational performance.
When you think to yourself that you have to perform perfectly in all your conversations, and put up a false front, you will actually make your performance worse! You will become too nervous and awkward, and you’ll be too focused on your own performance. You won’t be focused on getting to know the new person you’ve just met.
New people that you meet are not looking for brilliant conversation. What they are looking for is someone who will be comfortable to be with, and fun to talk to. But most of all they are looking for someone who seems interested in them!
If you really want to impress the person you are meeting, it’s more important to be a good listener than to be a great talker.
If you want to know that person better, you can start by exchanging a few low key pleasantries, but you should move on quickly to a slightly more personal level of discussion. Ask a few basic questions and offer a little bit of information about yourself, your likes or dislikes, or your opinion on some neutral topic. Notice whether the other person lights up with interest about any topics you mention.
This can give you new interesting areas for both of you to discuss. Try to find out who they are, and what is interesting to them.
Even if it seems somewhat difficult and awkward for you in the beginning, develop the habit of introducing yourself to others as soon as you meet them, or very early in the conversation. Otherwise you could spend hours talking and neither of you will have any idea of what your conversation partner’s name is.
Socially confident people introduce themselves to their conversation partners very early in the course of conversation. People who are shy or socially awkward tend to introduce themselves much later, or not at all. Shy people often wait until someone asks for their name, but they rarely volunteer to give it, and they rarely ask the other person for their name.
Sometimes it is easier to ask the other person for their name first, and then offer your own. If you practice the new behavior enough times, it will eventually become second nature to you. With enough practice, it will no longer seem intimidating to take a more active role.
The important thing is simply to develop the habit of starting simple little conversations with lots more people. Look for the interests you have in common.
So remember: Show interest in other people. Smile. Listen. Look at the person you’re talking with.
Whenever you start talking to new people, don’t strive for great dialogue, or the perfect opening lines. Just get started, and keep on talking. Focus more on finding out what is interesting about the other person than on talking about what is interesting about you.
Let other people get to know the real you, instead of a fake you. Source http://www.relationshipsarticlelibrary.com
Read More..
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Barbecue Tips and Trends
This is three handy tips for backyard chefs this season, courtesy someone who should know, Linda Lee, manager of Windsor's popular Patio Palace.
- Inspect. Clean up the barbecue, not just the obvious fixtures but check for spiders and and insect nests in the venturi tubes, the tubes that extend from the burner to the control valves. "Make sure the flame is blue, not yellow. If you see yellow, get it cleaned," Lee cautions, pointing to serious fires that have occurred. She says the siding of one house was destroyed because of a fire from the barbecue.
- Read labels. When buying a new barbecue, check whether it's North American-made. If not, parts and service may be hard to come by, Lee emphasizes. At least, find out whether parts and service are available from the retailer for the brands on display. Brands like Broil King based in Waterloo, Napoleon from Barrie and Weber in the United States provide support, including parts and service.
- Know your needs. Barbecues can cost $300 to more than $1,000 and come with a variety of features. "Know what's best for you," Lee advises, when it comes to choosing between models. She's seeing more models that are more affordable. They may have fewer features than higher-end, luxury barbecues but may still be a good value.
Accessories remain popular as a trend, with items like rib racks to provide more grill space and keep bones from burning, pizza stones for wood-fired grilling, and grill brushes that can be filled with water to hasten cleaning.
Such toys for the grill actually have a practical purpose, Lee maintains. They make the barbecue appliance more useful, providing more possibilities for cooking.
Read More..
- Inspect. Clean up the barbecue, not just the obvious fixtures but check for spiders and and insect nests in the venturi tubes, the tubes that extend from the burner to the control valves. "Make sure the flame is blue, not yellow. If you see yellow, get it cleaned," Lee cautions, pointing to serious fires that have occurred. She says the siding of one house was destroyed because of a fire from the barbecue.
- Read labels. When buying a new barbecue, check whether it's North American-made. If not, parts and service may be hard to come by, Lee emphasizes. At least, find out whether parts and service are available from the retailer for the brands on display. Brands like Broil King based in Waterloo, Napoleon from Barrie and Weber in the United States provide support, including parts and service.
- Know your needs. Barbecues can cost $300 to more than $1,000 and come with a variety of features. "Know what's best for you," Lee advises, when it comes to choosing between models. She's seeing more models that are more affordable. They may have fewer features than higher-end, luxury barbecues but may still be a good value.
Accessories remain popular as a trend, with items like rib racks to provide more grill space and keep bones from burning, pizza stones for wood-fired grilling, and grill brushes that can be filled with water to hasten cleaning.
Such toys for the grill actually have a practical purpose, Lee maintains. They make the barbecue appliance more useful, providing more possibilities for cooking.
Read More..
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Cook with Couscous
If you're tired of serving mashed potatoes, rice or noodles with a dinner entrée, switch things up and mound some couscous on your plate. It's easy to cook, is widely available and can make any dinner seem a little more exotic.
Couscous is a staple of North African cuisine, made by turning grain into tiny balls of dough and steaming them. It has been served for millennia in countries such as Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia and often accompanied with vegetables, fish or meat. Some of the local names for couscous in those countries are identical to the word for "food," which indicates how important it is to their diet.
The traditional vessel used to cook couscous is called a couscousière. It's basically a double boiler where a stew or other creation gets cooked in the bottom of the pot, and the couscous sits in the top part, cooking in the steam that rises from the food below.
Couscous comes in a few forms, but what you most often see for sale in Canada is what is sometimes referred to as "instant" couscous, although that won't be noted on the box or bulk food bin. It is a quick-cooking grain product made by moistening and forming semolina into fine granules, steaming them and then drying them.
To cook this type of couscous, available in regular, whole-wheat and flavoured, you most often simply stir it into boiling water, stock or other liquid, cover tightly, remove from the heat and allowed the couscous to plump up five minutes, before fluffing with a fork to separate the grains.
This type of couscous is a versatile ingredient. For example, you can cook it plainly and use it as a base to spoon something saucy over, such as a stew or braised dish.
You can also add ingredients to the couscous as it cooks and create a side dish that can rival the entrée, which I did in today's recipe for couscous with pine nuts, olives, roasted peppers and basil. After cooking and cooling, couscous can make a great base for a salad or addition to a soup.
I've also seen recipes where couscous was used in a dessert, flavoured with chocolate, almonds and cinnamon.
Another type of couscous becoming more widely available in Canada is called Israeli or pearl couscous. I found it for sale at a bulk food store and at a European-style delicatessen. It's much larger than the couscous noted above, about the size of a small pea.
This type of couscous can be cooked in boiling, salted water as you would pasta. It takes quite a bit longer to cook than fine granulated couscous and can be used in similar ways, such as a side dish or in a salad. I've also seen it added directly to soups and stews and used to make a risotto-like dish.
Middle Eastern specialty food stores might also sell traditional couscous, which requires soaking and slow steaming to cook it, and Lebanese couscous, called maghrabiyeh, which is cooked by soaking in boiling water about 45 minutes.
Eric Akis is the author of the best-selling Everyone Can Cook book series. His columns appear in the Life section Wednesday and Sunday.
VEGETABLE SOUP WITH COUSCOUS
This colourful soup is made more filling by spooning couscous into each bowl just before serving.
Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: About 20 minutes
Makes: 4 servings
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1 medium carrot, in small cubes
1 celery rib, cut into small cubes
1 garlic clove, chopped
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1 (14-oz.) can diced tomatoes
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground oregano
• pinch each crushed chili flakes and sugar
3 cups vegetable stock
1 cup water
2/3 cup couscous
1/2 cup frozen peas
• salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Pour oil in a medium-sized pot and set over medium heat. Cook onion, carrot and celery, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and tomato paste and cook 1 minute more. Add the tomatoes, cumin, oreg-ano, chili flakes, sugar and stock. Simmer gently 15 minutes. Meanwhile, place the 1 cup water in a small pot and bring to a boil. Stir in the couscous, cover, remove from the heat and let stand 5 minutes.
When the soup is cooked, stir in peas and heat through 1 minute. Season the soup with salt and pepper. Divide the couscous among 4 large soup bowls. Ladle in the soup and serve.
COUSCOUS WITH PINE NUTS AND OLIVES
The Mediterranean flavours of this dish suit grilled lamb chops. Have all ingredients chopped, measured and ready to go before starting this quick-cooking dish.
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: About 6-7 minutes
Makes: 6-8 servings
3 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 (340 gram) pkg. couscous (about 1 3/4 cups)
1/3 cup pine nuts
1 large roasted red pepper, finely diced (sold in jars or in bulk at most supermarkets)
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil
1/3 cup pitted black olives, coarsely chopped
* salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Place the stock, olive oil and garlic in a medium-sized pot and bring to a boil. Mix in the remaining ingredients.
Cover, turn off the heat and let the couscous stand 5 minutes. Fluff the couscous with a fork to separate the grains and then serve.
ISRAELI COUSCOUS SALAD WITH MIXED VEGETABLES, FETA AND RAISINS
A colourful salad you can serve with grilled or roasted fish, chicken or lamb. It's also a great salad to bring to a potluck dinner.
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 18-20 minutes
Makes: 8 servings
1 cup Israeli couscous
3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp orange juice
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
3 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
* salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
8 cherry tomatoes, each quartered
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1/3 cup finely chopped yellow bell pepper
1/2 cup raisins
100 grams feta cheese, crumbled
Bring 4 cups of lightly salted water to a slow boil. Add the couscous and cook 18-20 minutes, or until just tender. Drain the couscous well, cool in ice-cold water and drain well again. Place the couscous in a bowl and toss in the remaining ingredients.
Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve, gently tossing the salad again just before doing so. Salad can be readied several hours in advance of serving.
Read More..
Couscous is a staple of North African cuisine, made by turning grain into tiny balls of dough and steaming them. It has been served for millennia in countries such as Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia and often accompanied with vegetables, fish or meat. Some of the local names for couscous in those countries are identical to the word for "food," which indicates how important it is to their diet.
The traditional vessel used to cook couscous is called a couscousière. It's basically a double boiler where a stew or other creation gets cooked in the bottom of the pot, and the couscous sits in the top part, cooking in the steam that rises from the food below.
Couscous comes in a few forms, but what you most often see for sale in Canada is what is sometimes referred to as "instant" couscous, although that won't be noted on the box or bulk food bin. It is a quick-cooking grain product made by moistening and forming semolina into fine granules, steaming them and then drying them.
To cook this type of couscous, available in regular, whole-wheat and flavoured, you most often simply stir it into boiling water, stock or other liquid, cover tightly, remove from the heat and allowed the couscous to plump up five minutes, before fluffing with a fork to separate the grains.
This type of couscous is a versatile ingredient. For example, you can cook it plainly and use it as a base to spoon something saucy over, such as a stew or braised dish.
You can also add ingredients to the couscous as it cooks and create a side dish that can rival the entrée, which I did in today's recipe for couscous with pine nuts, olives, roasted peppers and basil. After cooking and cooling, couscous can make a great base for a salad or addition to a soup.
I've also seen recipes where couscous was used in a dessert, flavoured with chocolate, almonds and cinnamon.
Another type of couscous becoming more widely available in Canada is called Israeli or pearl couscous. I found it for sale at a bulk food store and at a European-style delicatessen. It's much larger than the couscous noted above, about the size of a small pea.
This type of couscous can be cooked in boiling, salted water as you would pasta. It takes quite a bit longer to cook than fine granulated couscous and can be used in similar ways, such as a side dish or in a salad. I've also seen it added directly to soups and stews and used to make a risotto-like dish.
Middle Eastern specialty food stores might also sell traditional couscous, which requires soaking and slow steaming to cook it, and Lebanese couscous, called maghrabiyeh, which is cooked by soaking in boiling water about 45 minutes.
Eric Akis is the author of the best-selling Everyone Can Cook book series. His columns appear in the Life section Wednesday and Sunday.
VEGETABLE SOUP WITH COUSCOUS
This colourful soup is made more filling by spooning couscous into each bowl just before serving.
Preparation time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: About 20 minutes
Makes: 4 servings
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1 medium carrot, in small cubes
1 celery rib, cut into small cubes
1 garlic clove, chopped
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1 (14-oz.) can diced tomatoes
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground oregano
• pinch each crushed chili flakes and sugar
3 cups vegetable stock
1 cup water
2/3 cup couscous
1/2 cup frozen peas
• salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Pour oil in a medium-sized pot and set over medium heat. Cook onion, carrot and celery, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and tomato paste and cook 1 minute more. Add the tomatoes, cumin, oreg-ano, chili flakes, sugar and stock. Simmer gently 15 minutes. Meanwhile, place the 1 cup water in a small pot and bring to a boil. Stir in the couscous, cover, remove from the heat and let stand 5 minutes.
When the soup is cooked, stir in peas and heat through 1 minute. Season the soup with salt and pepper. Divide the couscous among 4 large soup bowls. Ladle in the soup and serve.
COUSCOUS WITH PINE NUTS AND OLIVES
The Mediterranean flavours of this dish suit grilled lamb chops. Have all ingredients chopped, measured and ready to go before starting this quick-cooking dish.
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: About 6-7 minutes
Makes: 6-8 servings
3 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1 (340 gram) pkg. couscous (about 1 3/4 cups)
1/3 cup pine nuts
1 large roasted red pepper, finely diced (sold in jars or in bulk at most supermarkets)
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil
1/3 cup pitted black olives, coarsely chopped
* salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Place the stock, olive oil and garlic in a medium-sized pot and bring to a boil. Mix in the remaining ingredients.
Cover, turn off the heat and let the couscous stand 5 minutes. Fluff the couscous with a fork to separate the grains and then serve.
ISRAELI COUSCOUS SALAD WITH MIXED VEGETABLES, FETA AND RAISINS
A colourful salad you can serve with grilled or roasted fish, chicken or lamb. It's also a great salad to bring to a potluck dinner.
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 18-20 minutes
Makes: 8 servings
1 cup Israeli couscous
3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp orange juice
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
3 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
* salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
8 cherry tomatoes, each quartered
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1/3 cup finely chopped yellow bell pepper
1/2 cup raisins
100 grams feta cheese, crumbled
Bring 4 cups of lightly salted water to a slow boil. Add the couscous and cook 18-20 minutes, or until just tender. Drain the couscous well, cool in ice-cold water and drain well again. Place the couscous in a bowl and toss in the remaining ingredients.
Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve, gently tossing the salad again just before doing so. Salad can be readied several hours in advance of serving.
Read More..
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