Over the past few years, we’ve been bombarded with warnings about rising obesity, cancer and diabetes rates. Nearly every report makes a strong argument for the link between disease and diet. Government guidelines are advising us to eat a minimum of five portions of fruit and vegetables every day -- even more if we can manage, since the consensus is that you can’t eat too many vegetables. The trouble is, for many of us eating even five portions can seem like a serious challenge. When we work long hours, we naturally reach for convenience foods, almost all of which are carb-based.
Cooking at home is a lost art, with the sound of something sizzling on the stove being replaced by the beep of the microwave. This article will try to address this problem and offer some quick, easy and delicious ways to increase your daily intake of fruit and vegetables. The importance of plant foods in your diet can’t be overemphasized; they make you look and feel better and provide you with more steady energy throughout the day than convenience food can. Add a few of these tips into your daily routine, and you’ll be doing your body a huge favor. Remember, one portion is considered to be about 80 grams.
1- Smoothies
Buying an all-natural (100% fruit, no sugar added) smoothie is an easy way to boost your fruit intake. Some companies even sell vegetable smoothies. But if you’re prepared to spend 10 minutes in the kitchen, you can make a smoothie that will give you five fruit portions in one gloriously sweet hit. Two kiwis, two bananas, a handful of grapes, a handful of strawberries, and 250 ml of pure pressed apple or orange juice will do the trick. This is a full breakfast or post-workout energy boost, and if you want to add some whey protein or spirulina powder into the mix, all the better. The beauty of a well-built smoothie is that the wide variety of colors of fruit means you’re getting a wide variety of nutrients: Vitamins A, B2, B6, C, E, folate, niacin, potassium, not to mention dietary fiber. You can just as easily make a vegetable smoothie as long as you use fresh, raw ingredients. If you throw some tomato juice into a vegetable smoothie, make sure that it’s not full of sugar or salt – common hidden ingredients in commercial vegetable juices.
2- Incorporate vegetables into your snacking
Try substituting something healthy for your mid-morning coffee break snack. Raw carrots, celery and other crunchy vegetables will be just as filling, and will help you avoid the drop in energy that comes after eating a high-sugar snack. Consider this: A chocolate chip muffin can contain around 700 calories. For the average man, this amounts to nearly one third of the recommended daily caloric intake, and will cause a monumental sugar crash later on. Instead of eating something that has roughly the nutritional value of an old shoe, replace it with a handful of fresh vegetables. An average carrot may contain as few as 32 calories, celery as little as 8. You could eat a pound of vegetables and still have consumed far fewer calories than you would have with that muffin. If the veggies themselves are too boring, add some hummus dip for some protein or a low-fat yogurt-based dip, but skip the dollop of ranch dressing.
3- Add fruit/berries to your breakfast
Adding something extra to your breakfast is another really quick and simple way to increase your fruit intake. If you have yogurt or cereal at breakfast, sprinkle a handful of fruit into the bowl. Raspberries, blackberries and blueberries taste great and they‘re packed with nutrients. Fresh berries can be expensive, but you can just as easily thaw a handful of frozen berries in the microwave and add them to your cereal. Adding a chopped banana will provide you with a little energy boost at the start of the day. The list of potential fruits is endless, and we don’t want to add all of them here, but if you want to keep things interesting and give yourself a range of nutrients, switch it up every so often.
4- Double up on servings
At lunch and dinner, try increasing the amount of vegetables you put on your plate. If it sounds obvious, it is. Many people put far fewer vegetables on their plate than the standard portion size of 80 grams. To make sure you’re getting your five a day, try to have two different types of vegetables in a meal. This has multiple benefits: by eating a larger amount of vegetables, you will crowd out other foods on your plate, like potatoes and meat, and chances are you eat plenty of those anyway. Reducing the higher-calorie foods (but not eliminating them altogether) can help you lose weight in addition to improving your overall health. Forget the popular misconception that fresh vegetables are expensive. Compared to microwave meals and other processed goods, vegetables are surprisingly affordable, and frozen vegetables can go a very long way and last a very long time in your freezer without compromising their healthiness.
5- Canned and frozen count too
Fruits and vegetables that have been canned or frozen retain their nutrients just as well as fresh vegetables, and in some cases, even more effectively. Frozen veggies are quick to prepare, which means getting your five a day gets even easier. Canned sweet corn, for example, can be microwaved in under two minutes, and frozen vegetables can be steamed in the microwave almost as quickly. This means you really have no excuse to be avoiding vegetables at dinner. A selection of canned and frozen vegetables with your main course, and some canned fruit for dessert (avoid fruit that is in syrup) and you can easily consume five portions of fruits and vegetables in just one sitting.
veg out
Add all these tips together, and you could easily eat between 12 and 15 portions every day without making any major changes to your lifestyle. All it takes to give yourself a huge nutritional boost is a little planning. You may inadvertently find some unexpected fringe benefits -- lower shopping bills, more energy and a slimmer waistline. It’s hard to overemphasize just how valuable getting your five (or more) each day can be. Try making sure you eat at least five fruits and vegetables every day for a week, and you may be pleasantly surprised.
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Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Best Things You Can Do for Your Skin
The basics for skin care are the easiest way to start. Naturally, a good diet, exercise and adequate sleep are the basic building blocks for healthy-looking skin.
But beyond those key factors, the best thing you can do for your skin is to protect it, which means combating the effects of your environment with a proper cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen.
We're often deterred from taking these obvious steps because we don't experience instant success. But there is no magic cream that produces immediate effects: you can't anticipate that a cosmetic product will work faster than a medical therapy. You can expect to use a new skin care product or regime for six to eight weeks before you really see the results.
When you're young, your skin can recuperate from almost any insult you throw at it. As you age, however, your skin loses its elasticity and ability to recover from damage. The earlier you take action to care for your skin, the more damage you will be able to prevent. You may even be able to reverse what has already occurred.
That's why it's important to understand the state your skin is in now, anticipate where it is going and have a five-year goal.
The skin, like any organ of the body, changes with age, so you'll need to alter the skin care routine and products you choose now to maintain the results you want to achieve in the future--but the fundamentals remain the same. As you strive to make your skin look its best, remember there is no one product that does it all. Product choices have to be tailored to each skin type, determined by whether your skin is tolerant or sensitive, oily or dry.
Cleanser
Your skin is your interface with the world, and your barrier to outside influences. It acts as a protective film that keeps the outside out, and the inside in. Because you are exposed to so many factors in your environment, a cleanser is an important and very simple part of daily care.
These synthetic detergents are designed for short contact with the skin, and to be well rinsed off to avoid irritation. You don't want to leave any residual soap on your skin. For those with sensitive skin, a foaming wash may be a good choice, just as a cleanser with salicylic acid may help someone with blackheads as a major part of their acne.
Moisturizer
A good moisturizer is the force-field that protects your skin from common environmental and topical irritants. As your skin's invisible shield, it reduces the evaporation of water by including occlusive barriers like petrolatum, mineral oil or lanolin.
A moisturizer also has factors that attract water to the outer layer of the skin. These humectants include glycerine, urea, propylene glycol and gelatin.
The final component of a moisturizer is an emollient that fills in the tiny crevices between the outer flakes of skin to give a nice, smooth, soft texture. Your moisturizer should spread well, stay in place and not evaporate to leave you unprotected.
Sunscreen
Sunscreens, which are an entire topic in themselves, should be a part of your daily routine for those times when you just can't avoid that dash outside in the light of day. The big thing about sun is that it bites you as soon as you go outside. There is no "five-second rule." Put on your broad-spectrum sunscreen, with an SPF of at least 30, every morning.
In General
Look for products that make you feel comfortable and produce the desired effect. As for price, use common sense. You should judge how much the price difference is validated by the results you get. While you often get what you pay for, there may be a price point beyond which you do not get a significant benefit.
Finally, if you are having trouble with anything you are putting on your skin, stop using it! Swelling or redness around the eyes is often the first big tip-off. If you are concerned, do a use-test first, by applying a product behind your ears for a couple of days.
For everyone who wants to look great, the only route is consistency and attention to skin management. "Wash-and-wear" eventually looks worn. You can ignore your skin, but time won't.
The Worst Things You Can Do For Your Skin
Two words: smoking and tanning. These activities will not only age you, but will cause irreparable damage.
If you are still smoking, just stop. Your skin will lose that sallow, thickened and unhealthy appearance faster than many topical therapies could help you.
It's even worse to ignore changes that are happening on your skin: benign neglect is not an acceptable approach to healthy skin. Pay attention to spots that change. A simple guideline is to see your doctor if you have a spot that doesn't heal within two to three months.
© Copyright (c) Canwest News Service
Read More..
But beyond those key factors, the best thing you can do for your skin is to protect it, which means combating the effects of your environment with a proper cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen.
We're often deterred from taking these obvious steps because we don't experience instant success. But there is no magic cream that produces immediate effects: you can't anticipate that a cosmetic product will work faster than a medical therapy. You can expect to use a new skin care product or regime for six to eight weeks before you really see the results.
When you're young, your skin can recuperate from almost any insult you throw at it. As you age, however, your skin loses its elasticity and ability to recover from damage. The earlier you take action to care for your skin, the more damage you will be able to prevent. You may even be able to reverse what has already occurred.
That's why it's important to understand the state your skin is in now, anticipate where it is going and have a five-year goal.
The skin, like any organ of the body, changes with age, so you'll need to alter the skin care routine and products you choose now to maintain the results you want to achieve in the future--but the fundamentals remain the same. As you strive to make your skin look its best, remember there is no one product that does it all. Product choices have to be tailored to each skin type, determined by whether your skin is tolerant or sensitive, oily or dry.
Cleanser
Your skin is your interface with the world, and your barrier to outside influences. It acts as a protective film that keeps the outside out, and the inside in. Because you are exposed to so many factors in your environment, a cleanser is an important and very simple part of daily care.
These synthetic detergents are designed for short contact with the skin, and to be well rinsed off to avoid irritation. You don't want to leave any residual soap on your skin. For those with sensitive skin, a foaming wash may be a good choice, just as a cleanser with salicylic acid may help someone with blackheads as a major part of their acne.
Moisturizer
A good moisturizer is the force-field that protects your skin from common environmental and topical irritants. As your skin's invisible shield, it reduces the evaporation of water by including occlusive barriers like petrolatum, mineral oil or lanolin.
A moisturizer also has factors that attract water to the outer layer of the skin. These humectants include glycerine, urea, propylene glycol and gelatin.
The final component of a moisturizer is an emollient that fills in the tiny crevices between the outer flakes of skin to give a nice, smooth, soft texture. Your moisturizer should spread well, stay in place and not evaporate to leave you unprotected.
Sunscreen
Sunscreens, which are an entire topic in themselves, should be a part of your daily routine for those times when you just can't avoid that dash outside in the light of day. The big thing about sun is that it bites you as soon as you go outside. There is no "five-second rule." Put on your broad-spectrum sunscreen, with an SPF of at least 30, every morning.
In General
Look for products that make you feel comfortable and produce the desired effect. As for price, use common sense. You should judge how much the price difference is validated by the results you get. While you often get what you pay for, there may be a price point beyond which you do not get a significant benefit.
Finally, if you are having trouble with anything you are putting on your skin, stop using it! Swelling or redness around the eyes is often the first big tip-off. If you are concerned, do a use-test first, by applying a product behind your ears for a couple of days.
For everyone who wants to look great, the only route is consistency and attention to skin management. "Wash-and-wear" eventually looks worn. You can ignore your skin, but time won't.
The Worst Things You Can Do For Your Skin
Two words: smoking and tanning. These activities will not only age you, but will cause irreparable damage.
If you are still smoking, just stop. Your skin will lose that sallow, thickened and unhealthy appearance faster than many topical therapies could help you.
It's even worse to ignore changes that are happening on your skin: benign neglect is not an acceptable approach to healthy skin. Pay attention to spots that change. A simple guideline is to see your doctor if you have a spot that doesn't heal within two to three months.
© Copyright (c) Canwest News Service
Read More..
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
How Diet Affects Fertility
Every new life starts with two seemingly simple events. First, an active sperm burrows into a perfectly mature egg. Then the resulting fertilized egg nestles into the specially prepared lining of the uterus and begins to grow. The key phrase in that description is "seemingly simple." Dozens of steps influenced by a cascade of carefully timed hormones are needed to make and mature eggs and sperm. Their union is both a mad dash and a complex dance, choreographed by hormones, physiology and environmental cues.
A constellation of other factors can come into play. Many couples delay having a baby until they are financially ready or have established themselves in their professions. Waiting, though, decreases the odds of conceiving and increases the chances of having a miscarriage. Fewer than 10 percent of women in their early 20s have issues with infertility, compared with nearly 30 percent of those in their early 40s. Sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, which are on the upswing, can cause or contribute to infertility. The linked epidemics of obesity and diabetes sweeping the country have reproductive repercussions. Environmental contaminants known as endocrine disruptors, such as some pesticides and emissions from burning plastics, appear to affect fertility in women and men. Stress and anxiety, both in general and about fertility, can also interfere with getting pregnant. Add all these to the complexity of conception and it's no wonder that infertility is a common problem, besetting an estimated 6 million American couples.
It's almost become a cliché that diet, exercise and lifestyle choices affect how long you'll live, the health of your heart, the odds you'll develop cancer and a host of other health-related issues. Is fertility on this list? The answer to that question has long been a qualified "maybe," based on old wives' tales, conventional wisdom—and almost no science. Farmers, ranchers and animal scientists know more about how nutrition affects fertility in cows, pigs and other commercially important animals than fertility experts know about how it affects reproduction in humans. There are small hints scattered across medical journals, but few systematic studies of this crucial connection in people.
We set out to change this critical information gap with the help of more than 18,000 women taking part in the Nurses' Health Study, a long-term research project looking at the effects of diet and other factors on the development of chronic conditions such as heart disease, cancer and other diseases. Each of these women said she was trying to have a baby. Over eight years of follow-up, most of them did. About one in six women, though, had some trouble getting pregnant, including hundreds who experienced ovulatory infertility—a problem related to the maturation or release of a mature egg each month. When we compared their diets, exercise habits and other lifestyle choices with those of women who readily got pregnant, several key differences emerged. We have translated these differences into fertility-boosting strategies.
At least for now, these recommendations are aimed at preventing and reversing ovulatory infertility, which accounts for one quarter or more of all cases of infertility. They won't work for infertility due to physical impediments like blocked fallopian tubes. They may work for other types of infertility, but we don't yet have enough data to explore connections between nutrition and infertility due to other causes. And since the Nurses' Health Study doesn't include information on the participants' partners, we weren't able to explore how nutrition affects male infertility. From what we have gleaned from the limited research in this area, some of our strategies might improve fertility in men, too. The plan described in The Fertility Diet doesn't guarantee a pregnancy any more than do in vitro fertilization or other forms of assisted reproduction. But it's virtually free, available to everyone, has no side effects, sets the stage for a healthy pregnancy, and forms the foundation of a healthy eating strategy for motherhood and beyond. That's a winning combination no matter how you look at it.
Slow Carbs, Not No Carbs
Once upon a time, and not that long ago, carbohydrates were the go-to gang for taste, comfort, convenience and energy. Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes—these were the highly recommended, base-of-the-food-pyramid foods that supplied us with half or more of our calories. Then in rumbled the Atkins and South Beach diets. In a scene out of George Orwell's "1984," good became bad almost overnight as the two weight-loss juggernauts turned carbohydrates into dietary demons, vilifying them as the source of big bellies and jiggling thighs. Following the no-carb gospel, millions of Americans spurned carbohydrates in hopes of shedding pounds. Then, like all diet fads great and small, the no-carb craze lost its luster and faded from prominence.
Continued to page 2.
Read More..
A constellation of other factors can come into play. Many couples delay having a baby until they are financially ready or have established themselves in their professions. Waiting, though, decreases the odds of conceiving and increases the chances of having a miscarriage. Fewer than 10 percent of women in their early 20s have issues with infertility, compared with nearly 30 percent of those in their early 40s. Sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, which are on the upswing, can cause or contribute to infertility. The linked epidemics of obesity and diabetes sweeping the country have reproductive repercussions. Environmental contaminants known as endocrine disruptors, such as some pesticides and emissions from burning plastics, appear to affect fertility in women and men. Stress and anxiety, both in general and about fertility, can also interfere with getting pregnant. Add all these to the complexity of conception and it's no wonder that infertility is a common problem, besetting an estimated 6 million American couples.
It's almost become a cliché that diet, exercise and lifestyle choices affect how long you'll live, the health of your heart, the odds you'll develop cancer and a host of other health-related issues. Is fertility on this list? The answer to that question has long been a qualified "maybe," based on old wives' tales, conventional wisdom—and almost no science. Farmers, ranchers and animal scientists know more about how nutrition affects fertility in cows, pigs and other commercially important animals than fertility experts know about how it affects reproduction in humans. There are small hints scattered across medical journals, but few systematic studies of this crucial connection in people.
We set out to change this critical information gap with the help of more than 18,000 women taking part in the Nurses' Health Study, a long-term research project looking at the effects of diet and other factors on the development of chronic conditions such as heart disease, cancer and other diseases. Each of these women said she was trying to have a baby. Over eight years of follow-up, most of them did. About one in six women, though, had some trouble getting pregnant, including hundreds who experienced ovulatory infertility—a problem related to the maturation or release of a mature egg each month. When we compared their diets, exercise habits and other lifestyle choices with those of women who readily got pregnant, several key differences emerged. We have translated these differences into fertility-boosting strategies.
At least for now, these recommendations are aimed at preventing and reversing ovulatory infertility, which accounts for one quarter or more of all cases of infertility. They won't work for infertility due to physical impediments like blocked fallopian tubes. They may work for other types of infertility, but we don't yet have enough data to explore connections between nutrition and infertility due to other causes. And since the Nurses' Health Study doesn't include information on the participants' partners, we weren't able to explore how nutrition affects male infertility. From what we have gleaned from the limited research in this area, some of our strategies might improve fertility in men, too. The plan described in The Fertility Diet doesn't guarantee a pregnancy any more than do in vitro fertilization or other forms of assisted reproduction. But it's virtually free, available to everyone, has no side effects, sets the stage for a healthy pregnancy, and forms the foundation of a healthy eating strategy for motherhood and beyond. That's a winning combination no matter how you look at it.
Slow Carbs, Not No Carbs
Once upon a time, and not that long ago, carbohydrates were the go-to gang for taste, comfort, convenience and energy. Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes—these were the highly recommended, base-of-the-food-pyramid foods that supplied us with half or more of our calories. Then in rumbled the Atkins and South Beach diets. In a scene out of George Orwell's "1984," good became bad almost overnight as the two weight-loss juggernauts turned carbohydrates into dietary demons, vilifying them as the source of big bellies and jiggling thighs. Following the no-carb gospel, millions of Americans spurned carbohydrates in hopes of shedding pounds. Then, like all diet fads great and small, the no-carb craze lost its luster and faded from prominence.
Continued to page 2.
Read More..
Thursday, October 2, 2008
How to Romance a Woman
Ask any adult and they’ll tell you that men and women are different in many ways (beyond the obvious physical differences!). Emotionally, men and women often have different needs. Our challenges in understanding the needs of the opposite sex have made books like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” bestsellers. Let’s take a look, then, at a few things tips on how to successfully romance a woman --- from a woman’s perspective.
*Compliments*
Compliments are a little like frosting – too slick, and they slide right off. Too thick, and they’re sickening. But a cake without frosting is a little sad; and a woman without compliments may feel the same way. A good compliment can make a woman feel truly appreciated and loved. What then differentiates a “good” compliment from a bad one? Here are a few factors:
• Sincerity – women like to know that they can trust a man. We like to hear compliments that are clear and specific, that come from the heart. Most women would rather receive one sincere compliment rather than ten insincere ones. A single insincere compliment can also serve to discredit you, and devalue your future compliments.
• Specificity – A vague compliment is like that frosting above, but you forgot to add enough sugar. It’s okay, but it is just kind of “neutral”. Add a specific detail or two, though, and the compliment takes on new value. Compare the impact of “That’s a pretty dress” with the more specific “I love your dress. It really brings out the blue in your eyes, and really shows off your sexy body.” Which one do you think is apt to make your partner feel more appreciated?
• Frequently – while some men toss out compliments like they’re business cards at a Rotary convention, others are so frugal with compliments that the woman ends up feeling unappreciated. If you fall into the first category, check out the two recommendations above. If you’re in the latter category, you might want to try praising your partner a little more often. Compliments that come freely and more frequently make us feel appreciated and loved.
• Unexpectedly – If you find your partner “fishing” for compliments, it may be that you could improve on your complimenting skills. One tip is to offer compliments and praise when she isn’t expecting them – as a sign of your love and appreciation for her and all she does for you. Some women say that the only time they get compliments is when they ask for them, or when their husbands want sex. So they are suspicious of all unsolicited compliments. How sad is that? Let your partner know how much you love and appreciate her, and she’ll appreciate your attentiveness.
• Intelligently – one of the greatest compliments you can give a woman is to appreciate her mind/soul/intellect. It’s far easier to hand out compliments about physical attributes – her appearance, her outfit, her haircut, etc. than it is to compliment her intelligence. Next time you have the chance to tell your partner how much you appreciate her for something non-cosmetic, do so. Tell her how impressed you are with her handling of a difficult situation, or her patience in a stressful area, or her creativity in resolving an issue. Tell her how you appreciate the decisions she made on specific issues. Let her share her day and her accomplishments with you, and listen to the many choices, decisions and frustrations she faced. Appreciating her intellect, her giving nature, her negotiation skills, etc. can help her recognize that not only are you really listening to her, but that you appreciate her as a person, as well.
*Gifts and Thoughtful Gestures*
A heartfelt gift can be an incredibly romantic thing. For those of you on a budget, romance does not have to mean big budgets. One man I know left cards for his wife every day for a week when she was struggling with an issue at work, telling her how much he loved her and appreciated her. She shared that this was a real source of strength for her as she dealt with the problems during the day, giving her self-esteem a much-needed boost.
Sometimes the presentation of the gift can be as important as the gift itself, too. Flowers grabbed in the grocery store and flung at your partner with a “These were on sale” comment may show you care, but a lot of the potential impact is lost in the process. Even an inexpensive grocery store bouquet can be a romantic gesture if presented correctly. Accompanied by a kiss, present the flowers to your partner with a smile, and a gracious compliment. Something like, “I saw these and couldn’t resist getting them for you to brighten up the kitchen. Can I stick them in some water for you?” will do just fine, if you aren’t the naturally romantic type.
One caveat – most women don’t appreciate having gifts associated with sex. Even if the sex was stunning, try to make sure your gifts are presented as tokens of your appreciation for her giving nature, or your growing love for her, or a wonderful weekend together. Tied in with a sincere compliment about something non-sexual, if possible. Gifts tied to sex can make a woman feel cheap and used; while a gift for the same weekend presented “because you’re always so fun to be with” carries a far more positive connotation.
One of the most thoughtful gifts you can give a woman is your time and your attention. Listen to her, what she likes and dislikes. Ask her to tell you about her day, and then listen. Don’t interrupt or tune her out, and don’t try to “fix” her problems for her (unless she asks you to intervene). Just listening to her and offering sympathy and caring, laughter and sharing, will tell her that she’s important to you. Take an afternoon off and go have a picnic in the park together. Get a babysitter and go out for a romantic dinner, or ask her for a list of five things she wants to do and try to hit two or three of them. The most important thing is not how much money you spend, it’s the time you spend with her and the fact that you are making her your priority for that time.
Most women would love to have more time, attention and interest from their husbands and boyfriends. Although there are obviously exceptions, the fact is that the “romance” fades from most relationships as time and outside demands wear on the couple. I hope that these tips have given you some ideas on how you can put a little of the romance back into your relationship!
Read More..
*Compliments*
Compliments are a little like frosting – too slick, and they slide right off. Too thick, and they’re sickening. But a cake without frosting is a little sad; and a woman without compliments may feel the same way. A good compliment can make a woman feel truly appreciated and loved. What then differentiates a “good” compliment from a bad one? Here are a few factors:
• Sincerity – women like to know that they can trust a man. We like to hear compliments that are clear and specific, that come from the heart. Most women would rather receive one sincere compliment rather than ten insincere ones. A single insincere compliment can also serve to discredit you, and devalue your future compliments.
• Specificity – A vague compliment is like that frosting above, but you forgot to add enough sugar. It’s okay, but it is just kind of “neutral”. Add a specific detail or two, though, and the compliment takes on new value. Compare the impact of “That’s a pretty dress” with the more specific “I love your dress. It really brings out the blue in your eyes, and really shows off your sexy body.” Which one do you think is apt to make your partner feel more appreciated?
• Frequently – while some men toss out compliments like they’re business cards at a Rotary convention, others are so frugal with compliments that the woman ends up feeling unappreciated. If you fall into the first category, check out the two recommendations above. If you’re in the latter category, you might want to try praising your partner a little more often. Compliments that come freely and more frequently make us feel appreciated and loved.
• Unexpectedly – If you find your partner “fishing” for compliments, it may be that you could improve on your complimenting skills. One tip is to offer compliments and praise when she isn’t expecting them – as a sign of your love and appreciation for her and all she does for you. Some women say that the only time they get compliments is when they ask for them, or when their husbands want sex. So they are suspicious of all unsolicited compliments. How sad is that? Let your partner know how much you love and appreciate her, and she’ll appreciate your attentiveness.
• Intelligently – one of the greatest compliments you can give a woman is to appreciate her mind/soul/intellect. It’s far easier to hand out compliments about physical attributes – her appearance, her outfit, her haircut, etc. than it is to compliment her intelligence. Next time you have the chance to tell your partner how much you appreciate her for something non-cosmetic, do so. Tell her how impressed you are with her handling of a difficult situation, or her patience in a stressful area, or her creativity in resolving an issue. Tell her how you appreciate the decisions she made on specific issues. Let her share her day and her accomplishments with you, and listen to the many choices, decisions and frustrations she faced. Appreciating her intellect, her giving nature, her negotiation skills, etc. can help her recognize that not only are you really listening to her, but that you appreciate her as a person, as well.
*Gifts and Thoughtful Gestures*
A heartfelt gift can be an incredibly romantic thing. For those of you on a budget, romance does not have to mean big budgets. One man I know left cards for his wife every day for a week when she was struggling with an issue at work, telling her how much he loved her and appreciated her. She shared that this was a real source of strength for her as she dealt with the problems during the day, giving her self-esteem a much-needed boost.
Sometimes the presentation of the gift can be as important as the gift itself, too. Flowers grabbed in the grocery store and flung at your partner with a “These were on sale” comment may show you care, but a lot of the potential impact is lost in the process. Even an inexpensive grocery store bouquet can be a romantic gesture if presented correctly. Accompanied by a kiss, present the flowers to your partner with a smile, and a gracious compliment. Something like, “I saw these and couldn’t resist getting them for you to brighten up the kitchen. Can I stick them in some water for you?” will do just fine, if you aren’t the naturally romantic type.
One caveat – most women don’t appreciate having gifts associated with sex. Even if the sex was stunning, try to make sure your gifts are presented as tokens of your appreciation for her giving nature, or your growing love for her, or a wonderful weekend together. Tied in with a sincere compliment about something non-sexual, if possible. Gifts tied to sex can make a woman feel cheap and used; while a gift for the same weekend presented “because you’re always so fun to be with” carries a far more positive connotation.
One of the most thoughtful gifts you can give a woman is your time and your attention. Listen to her, what she likes and dislikes. Ask her to tell you about her day, and then listen. Don’t interrupt or tune her out, and don’t try to “fix” her problems for her (unless she asks you to intervene). Just listening to her and offering sympathy and caring, laughter and sharing, will tell her that she’s important to you. Take an afternoon off and go have a picnic in the park together. Get a babysitter and go out for a romantic dinner, or ask her for a list of five things she wants to do and try to hit two or three of them. The most important thing is not how much money you spend, it’s the time you spend with her and the fact that you are making her your priority for that time.
Most women would love to have more time, attention and interest from their husbands and boyfriends. Although there are obviously exceptions, the fact is that the “romance” fades from most relationships as time and outside demands wear on the couple. I hope that these tips have given you some ideas on how you can put a little of the romance back into your relationship!
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